It’s dangerous to go alone! Take this… 
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The Buddy System™️ is an opportunity for peers to watch out for one another, to offer a check-in that isn’t with your “boss”. It is different than direct pairing and complementary to the regular check-ins with your team lead.
Not everyone is comfortable reaching out for help while their stress level is still low, so frequently by the time a person is asking for help it means they really need it. The Buddy System™️ is intended to cut to the chase quicker and remove any stigma or hesitancy to asking for help. It’s an opportunity for building a work relationship with your teammates that fosters transparency and communication.
Relationships require some level of trust to endure and a team is built off a network of relationships. As we trust one another, we are building a team. Where there is high trust we can take risks and achieve accomplishments far beyond our individual contribution exactly because we have a network of support.
This relational aspect of the job we consider so vital that we are prioritizing the Buddy System™️ and defining a loose structure for it.
Rules of Engagement
First, yes for infrastructure teams it is required. For ease of coordination each pairing will last two weeks. Pairs will be assigned out during the sweep that follows a retrospective. It is the sweep facilitors job to update the Buddy Pairs sheet. At it’s most basic you should be keeping up with your buddy’s standup posts. If you see something drawing out or that appears to be toilsome, then reach out and check on them. If your buddy’s health indicator in their daily standup message is anything other than green then you should check in with them.
We do not expect the buddy pair to solve the problem or hash out a code fix. That will happen from time to time, but it is not the expectation. The Buddy System™️ should be leveraged as a temperature check rather than a way to share workload. The buddy will be as effective as their questions are authentic and timely.
Be specific and relate questions to standups, team channel interactions or lack thereof. Avoid accusatory language, but also be gracious with your buddy if their questions are well intended though potentially clumsy. These check-ins should be centered around observations at work. We are not mandating personal connection and vulnerability, and certainly want to steer clear of putting anyone in an uncomfortable spot where they feel pressured to share personal details. We are work mates, not house mates.
A few examples
- I’ve noticed you’ve been focusing on the same problem for a while, tell me about that. What do you need? What is feeling stuck? What is feeling unclear about this?
- You seem to have been completely disconnected from standups recently. How are you doing and are you OK?
- You seemed really intense in that interaction earlier, did I read that right? What’s especially significant about this? Which of your core values are being messed with?
For more help Wherewithall has some great open ended questions.